The Drabbles I Write When I SHOULD Be Doing Work
by Angelic Temptress
Summary: A series of ideas I had that didn't go anywhere. Spoilers for Return of the Joker, JL: Epilogue. Part of the "Solving for R" series.
1. Let Mercy Come

Barbara stood between Dick and Tim, holding their hands as the priest recited _The Lord's Prayer_.

Superman and Wonder Woman lowered their heads. The original Warhawk and the masked Green Lantern stood beside their son.

Dinah had provided the flowers. She'd arrived with Vic and Helena, who had aged gracefully.

Barbara wondered if Dick noticed.

Bruce Wayne was laid to rest that October day.

All but three red roses covered the black coffin when the service ended.

Tim laid one on the grave of Martha Wayne.

Barbara left another on Thomas Wayne's.

Dick put his red rose on Selina Kyle's.


	2. Wash Away

His eyes were just as blue as they had been decades ago. It was unnerving.

Barbara sipped her coffee. "Terry was standing beside the tree."

Dick nodded.

"Helena looked very nice."

"I didn't notice."

She smiled. "Liar."

He forced a laugh.

They paused.

"I'm sorry I didn't attend Sam's funeral."

"That was years ago. I got your card."

"Doesn't make it okay."

Another pause.

"I've missed you, Babs."

"I've missed you."

"I really should find a hotel."

"Would it be inappropriate if you stayed with me?"

"With our track record, almost certainly."

"Do you want to stay with me?"

"Yes."


	3. Just Lie Here

The twins didn't quite understand why their grandmother wanted her ashes to be spread about this particular rose garden in this particular state park.

They wondered if their father would have understood.

The roses were of a rare kind. A half of a century ago, they were thought to have been extinct.

But here, in this park, the roses grew wildly. Yet, no one tended to them.

The girls laid Grandma Harley to rest around that rose garden. Her remains blended into the earth to remain beside the roots of the red roses and the poison ivy that circled them.


	4. Baby, it's You

Barbara lowered his collar to kiss the back of his neck, like she'd done decades ago. Dick was making breakfast.

She'd just gotten out of the shower and was surprised that she still smelled of him.

Lord, she had missed his scent.

"Morning to you too."

She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair. "Did you sleep all right?"

Dick nodded. "I don't remember the last time I've slept so well." He turned to reveal the apron he'd borrowed and kissed her mouth.

He quickly turned off the stove and pressed her between his body and the kitchen counter.


	5. Flesh or Reflection

Vic never understood the effects of death on the living. Maybe the realization of how short life was caused beings to throw caution to the wind. Perhaps the outpouring of sadness – the falling of tears upon the skin – triggered something in the body to recognize the immediate need for some sort of connection. The more intimate, the more satisfying.

They'd lost many over the years, and after every funeral, he'd find himself moving in rhythm with Helena, as if they'd never have the chance to be together again.

He just needed to hear her breath get caught in her throat.


	6. Happy Birthday to Me

The Clocktower on the other side of Gotham chimed as it struck midnight.

Helena was an entire year older than the last time this day came around.

She sipped her pink champagne and set the glass on her dresser, enjoying the alcohol as it slid down her throat.

Helena pulled on her mask and disappeared.

Huntress loaded her crossbow and attached it to her back after fastening her collapsible staff to her side. She checked her reflection in the mirror and tousled her hair.

She then finished her drink.

Huntress had work to do. Helena's celebration would have to wait.


	7. Inmates

Jonathon Crane sat with his head pressed to the glass of his cell so he could see the new patient.

His back was to the glass, and his head was turned just enough so Crane could see the paint had been scrubbed from his face. It looked as if he were searching the edges of his mouth with his own tongue.

Might have been mumbling to himself as well.

"If you have a question, bag-head, ask it."

"You've taken a liking to Doctor Quinzel."

Joker looked Crane's way and smiled. "You do want to get out of here, don't you?"


	8. Adoption

Her body smashed into the wall. He was sure to keep her from falling. She had no mask, so his hand was free to grasp her blonde hair. He forced her face against the brick wall and pushed his body against hers.

"If you were a good little jester, I wouldn't have to teach you a lesson."

"But Mistah J—!"

Harley fell to the ground when Joker was pulled from her. She looked up. The Batman was punching him. Robin helped her up.

"You okay?"

It was in that moment that she knew she wanted one of her own.


	9. Plan B

"Jesus, Harl."

Ivy bent down to look at her. She must have been sitting on the stairs of the greenhouse for hours, shivering and wearing nothing but panties and an oversized t-shirt. Her bruised lip had swelled to twice its size, and her right eye could barely open.

Harley forced a laugh. "Hiya, Red. Mind if I stay here tonight?"

Ivy smoothed Harley's blonde hair. "Did that laughing bastard do this to you?"

Harley shrugged. "Heh. We were going to have a romantic evening. Started that way… I was trapped beneath him, couldn't move… "

"Harley –"

"He just wouldn't stop."


	10. Dead Man Laughing

She stood with her eyes closed, her hands angled so her palms were flat above the ground. She could feel the earth calling her name, pleading to do its mother's bidding.

Buried deep, she could feel the roots growing around his rotting corpse and between the teeth of his decaying smile.

"You know, I'm not all that surprised to see you here."

She immediately opened her eyes. The cat thief stood beside her.

"Is he really dead?"

"Yes."

"How's Quinn?"

"Healing. It's what she does best."

Catwoman nodded. "How's Ivy?"

Poison Ivy found herself smiling. "I'm happy."

"Funny. Me too."


End file.
